“Life isn’t fair.” But it can be.
Possibly the most infuriating phrase I’ve ever heard—the most ridiculously stupid, dismissive argument in the world—is “life isn’t fair.” I’ve heard it all my life, from when I was a four-year-old wanting a Barbie doll, to now, when I suggest a fairer socioeconomic system. No, life is not fair; but there is absolutely no point whatsoever in saying that phrase. In fact, I don’t believe I’ve ever said it seriously to another person since I was a child, reiterating my parents’ poor excuse for wisdom.*
Of course I’m not suggesting that wanting a Barbie is in any way similar to wanting a fairer socioeconomic system. My point is simply that the phrase gets nowhere. You see, I think life should be fair, and can be much fairer than it is today.
If I wanted a Barbie, and my parents said no, I would say “that’s not fair.” The question in their minds, at that point, should not have been “does it matter if it’s fair?” because it does matter if it’s fair; but rather, “is she correct…is it really not fair to deprive her of a Barbie?” Given the situation—the fact that my parents couldn’t afford to keep buying me Barbies, and the fact that they didn’t want me to be influenced by such a disgustingly misogynistic toy in the first place—I would say that it was entirely fair to deprive me of a Barbie. In suggesting that they were being unfair, I was posing an ethical question about what fairness was. By saying that life was not fair (instead of saying that my request wasn’t fair), they were suggesting that my need for a Barbie was legitimate, and that in a perfectly fair world I would receive such a toy.
Now, to be serious. Regardless of whether wanting a Barbie is fair, being deprived of a Barbie is not something that could have a severe negative impact on my life. But because we grow up hearing, “life isn’t fair” from our parents, and we legitimise the phrase by repeating it over and over again until we feel we own it, we start to apply the philosophy to some very serious situations. For example, people who work three full-time jobs and barely have enough money for food. Apparently, some time in our lives, we decided that starvation is the equivalent to being deprived of a toy. Or at least, it is the equivalent as far as we care. Nowhere did we question the evolution of this phrase from simple childhood banter to politics; from plastic merchandise to food and shelter.
I remember arguing (online, of course) with a conservative person about welfare and socialism. He whined about people taking away (and I quote): “…MY hard-earned money, that I deserve every penny of…” (emphasis his). When I suggested that there may be people who need some of his money more than he, he said, “life isn’t fair.” Ignoring (hard though it may be) his insane hypocrisy, and simply focusing on his last statement, we see that he was entirely okay with allowing things to continue the way they were, where people starved. Yes, he thought that somehow, the people who were starving weren’t working as hard as he was, or didn’t deserve every penny that he did. But in addition, he thought that it was okay for people to starve. Regardless. And this is the problem we have to deal with to create a fair society.
We must get rid of the idea that some people aren’t deserving of life and the basic things that would sustain their life, regardless of whether they’re working or not. By simply being a living, breathing human being, they deserve to live and to survive.
I have written other times, and will write again, about how actually when a human is faced with starvation, they are incapable of being lazy. But that is not my point at this time. My point is that even if people can be lazy, we cannot be psychopaths and let them die. If it is within our power to keep them alive, then we cannot claim that it’s all up to them, it’s their “choice.”
Yes, life can be much fairer. But we must be willing to make it fairer, instead of leaving it the way it is now, with a dismissive shrug and a stupid cliché. Because that is true, dangerous laziness.
Well I do agree with you that this phrase does get used too much at times. But sometimes its use can be justified in a way that it shows the disappointment of people who work very hard for a certain goal and they aren’t able to achieve it yet someone achieves the same goal more easily than others. Obviously at that time they wont be thinking of various people who are leading much worse than them. I guess its fair to say people can use this term for showing their disappointment as long as they don’t make this one of their excuse of not trying hard enough in life. Nice post.
If something happens that you find unfair, and you shrug it off and say “life’s not fair,” that’s fine, as you’re not affecting anybody else. But to say “life’s not fair” to another person or about another person’s situation is rude at best and offensive at worst, which is why I never say it. I never say it to myself, either, but that is just my choice. I feel it is too dismissive to deserve mention in my life.
well obviously I agree that you cant just go around judging someone else and then just underline whatever his success his by mere luck. The only one I think we have the right to judge is ourselves.
I think is just a silly metaphor to which one shouldn’t pay much attention. “Life” is definitely not “fair” in the way a court decision or a decision made by your boss is. By gluing those things together, what we obtain is … a silly metaphor, if not already a cliché.
Yes, but it’s difficult to ignore, especially when people use the term politically.
It isn’t a metaphor. It’s not even a simile. It’s an expression – an overused, pathetic expression. (Sorry – grammar freak.)
I should like to point out that the said conservative friend of yours is RIGHT to be concerned about his hard earned money. The fundamental motive behind socialism is NOT to help your fellow men, but it is to ensure that the workers do indeed keep the fruits of their labour. It is another matter that co-operation among workers should inevitably lead to the people helping each other. A proper reply to that person would have been to point out that while socialism ensures that he enjoy the fruits of his labour, capitalism does exactly the opposite of what he THINKS it does. Capitalism allows his employers to profit from his labour instead of him keeping it ALL. Very disappointed, missy.
“Very disappointed?” Do I know you? “Missy?” Am I your kid? Shall I put this example in the Urban Dictionary under “patronising”?
Am I supposed to feel shame for having such a bad argument, since clearly yours is based in well-formed facts?
What on earth do you know about the fundamental motive behind socialism? Socialism is a broad category, and when I refer to it, I am referring to libertarian socialism. Most socialists would agree that one of the points of socialism is to help your fellow men, so where the hell are you getting that from? Just because you choose to follow a political philosophy for practical purposes, doesn’t mean others don’t follow it for ethical purposes as well.
Yes, of course we should be thinking about those who have nothing when we are living comfortably. Of course we should be willing to help them out. It’s almost as if you went from right-winger to socialist on a dare without actually having a change of heart (and increase in empathy) as well.
I am inclined to agree with Sitakali that socialism implies a social contract, with stronger and more able persons cooperating to share with weaker and less able persons. This, by the way, is not the same as charity. It presumes that all people are ENTITLED to the means to sustain life, whether or not they are able to contribute physical work or money. It may be that they have something else to contribute, which will become apparent if they are included in the human family.
Hence, “from each according to his ability, to each according to his need.” We need to get rid of the idea of “charity,” since it really suggests that helping other humans is optional and angelic. It should be seen as normal and human.
I quite agree. “Charity” is patronizing. Helping one another is simply a kind of enlightened self interest. What uplifts one uplifts all.
So what are you doing to make life more “Fair”? Not a challenge, a question, do not take offense, Im curious. How would you as a single person go about making life more fair.
[...] 5-7 Points: Haha, loser. You would hate pre-Vet school. Ironically, you would make an outstanding vet. But that’s life, and life isn’t fair. [...]
wonderful speach, i agree fully, life can be fair, at times at least, and fair has so many different meanings, just look in the dicationary at the word. the word fair can mean, pleasing to the mind, clean, pure, honest, free from self intrest, “fair to do bissiness with/ the item was worth the price, wasnt over priced” “they played the game fair/by the rules/ didn’t cheat”…and many more.
since i was a kid, i always got upset, and still do, by how many meanings each word has. I just want to keep it simple. this is the reason so many people dont agree with eachother, cuz they dont understand eachother. it can take a while for people to understand eachothers words, but it can be worth the friendly disagreement to try to understand eachother and eventually agree, dont let it turn into a angry agruement.
get the dictionary out, and go over the most basic words, go over facts, and people, doctors and scienctists have different belifs of what facts are, dont give up on a person that wants to learn, but might just have their facts wrong. dont belive gossip, but belive what has scientif proof, what is taught in school, and what makes sence to you. you may have never been shot, but you can beleive that getting shot can hurt or kill a person. you may have never been denyed of basic needs, but you know that it hurts and can kill a person. most staving people try hard to get food, but people just deny them, so they are unable.
anyone could have been born starving, whoever wasnt, was lucky. helping a person and being nice to a person brings more joy then buying a mansion, or a bunch of cars, or things i dont need. i am rich(as in i have my needs), lucky, and i make a choice when i go to the store, i dont buy that cute shirt i dont need, i rather use that money for my education.
i dont have much money, and my plan is to get educated, then make a choice, whether it be get a job, or something else, no matter what, after im educated, im going to do whatever i can to help poor people, and im not going to get a fancy car expensive house, cuz i been around rich people with all that stuff and they shared it with me, and it didnt make me happy, it made me think that money could have went somewhere better.
i feel happier when i dont have alot of stuff, when i get extra, i give it away to someone needier then me. the human race is a family, we may only have enough time and money to care for ourselfs, and possibly a few more people, but who are you going to care for? someone in need who just wants 30 cents a day to buy food and education. once they get there needs, and education, then they can become normal people, with a job and a better life.
it could have been you. they lost there job, maybe got a cold, where they live, no one would help them, or maybe they couldnt get a job, and no one would help them. if you can help someone, you should. if you were in need of help, you would want help. they make laws that you cant torture someone, maybe if you lock someone up and deny them of food, do you think thats wrong?
but what about the people, they are in an area, where no one will help them. you gets lots of help everyday, through tradeing, or maybe your useing a public computer or something you parents gave you. they dont have anything to trade, life should be more important then money. if your playing monopoly board game with your friends, and one of your friends had a heart attack and passed out, was unconsious. would you let them die, or call 911.
poor people arnt locked up in a cage, but it feels the same way, instead of a cage, its just an area, that they may try to move on, but cant find anywhere better to go, or dont have the strength. they may have a sick mother with a curable illness, but no one will help. people give you things, if you fell unconsious, you would want someone to call 911.
treat the world as your children, the world is your family. money is a note writen on a peice of paper, people can deside what an item is worth, considering what they are payed, how much work went into makeing the item, so people can trade. money is not equal, things are priced wrong, some people cant get jobs. when you were in school or a kid, remember getting taught shareing is careing. you would share the ball when playing a sport.
people got even amout of hot lunch, and paid the same price for it. but the school bought in bulk, so they got a cheaper price, now the school deserves to have high quality things, so as hopitals, some of the most important things there are. but buying in bulk, lets rich people pay less per item, maybe 1 penny per item. then the rich sell to the poor, for $50 per item.
thats why the rich get richer and the poor get poorer. its agianst the law to steal, but when a hungry poor pereson steals something to eat, whos really wrong, they are being stole the right to live, the right to live should be more important then money, they deserve the food they stole, and they shouldnt have to steal it, when there is extra, they should be given the extra.
a small few people might want to be poor and not try to get a job, but most poor people are desperate. so who is really the wrong ones. think if it was your child, if you locked them up with food, and said if they eat that food, they will get shot. poor people try to get any job they can, alot of young children join the talliban, beacuse its the only job they can get, and will rob people so they can get some food. if it was you, you would do the same thing. they have the right to fight for their life.
children didnt choose to be born and have to starve. if someone breaks in your house with a knive, and you have a gun, you gona defend yourself. if they rob you, there trying to defend themself. many times poor people are unabled to get food, let alone a wepond.
they are like your baby, locked in a cage, helpless. if your dont care for your baby, it will die, beause it cant get out of the cage until you let it out. you can give poor people education and food, so they can get a job, and take care of themselfs. instead of getting pregnate, adopt or help someone who needs you now. thanks.
[...] “Life isn’t fair.” Translation: “The world sucks. Let’s keep it that [...]